


Nathaniel is ACAB

by RubyCrystalAPasta



Series: The Runaway System [3]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Dissociative Identity Disorder, M/M, Neil has DID- Dissociative Identity Disorder, Neil is in a system, Neil says ACAB, POV Nathaniel Wesninski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:28:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29395512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyCrystalAPasta/pseuds/RubyCrystalAPasta
Summary: Excerpt: He couldn’t trust Andrew with anything, much less after he drugged them. Nathaniel was nothing if resourceful, and let the other take over for the first time. The other must have had a sense of humor, because they paid the busboy to knock them out and then jumped away for Nathaniel to take the full force of the punch._________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Summary: Nathaniel's pov of discovering that he is part of a system and what his role really is- both in terms of the body and in terms of Andrew Minyard.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: The Runaway System [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2156202
Comments: 4
Kudos: 87





	Nathaniel is ACAB

**Author's Note:**

> As somebody who is not in a system of their own, though has a friend who is, if there is anything that I wrote that is offensive or not correct or needs to be changed, please let me know of it! As always, leave your thoughts about this in a comment if you'd like!

Nathaniel could compare himself to a protector- a wall that stood for the others in his mind, ever on the lookout for danger and ways to keep the others out of trouble. In that way, he could call himself a guard, but he was completely ACAB and disliked the notion that one had to be compared to a cop or a soldier to be considered someone strong and protective. He liked the idea of being an older brother to Neil, though, so that was what he eventually called himself. 

He had first realized that he was different when he sat in the back of Neil’s mind while the boy went through actions, and then eventually when he took over for him when he’d see glimpses of Lola or Romero, not wanting Neil to be subjected to any of that. He’d kept those memories from the other, always trying to keep him safe. 

Nathaniel could remember the knives and the hot press of iron against his shoulder, he could remember the way that Mary looked disgusted whenever Alice would take over for a bit and then Nathaniel would return after hours of checking in on the others. He despised Mary. Neil didn’t, though, so Nathaniel never mentioned it. 

Nathaniel was the one who had learned French, when his father’s men had chased them there and it seemed nearly every day was enough to be too much for Neil. He was regretful for taking control so much, but if he could keep Neil safe, he wouldn’t give that up. 

Days of worry stretched into months while he matured before many others their age, and Nathaniel found himself aging more than the body that he was stuck in. He did the research when the body was fourteen, once a german school gave him access to a computer, and he found out about what they had- a system. Most of his searches brought up topics of a “split personality disorder”, but searches from almost ten years ago stated that the term was changed to “Dissociative Identity Disorder”. 

Nathaniel thought that it made sense. 

Even the older other, the one that Nathaniel reported to, agreed with him. Nathaniel never really had the chance to get their name- he wasn’t sure if they had one. This alter- a term he had discovered after researching- had been present in the body when Nathaniel had arrived, a solid steady presence that only wanted to know everything, cataloging it for future uses. 

It gave Nathaniel the creeps, honestly, but he never mentioned it. He called the other “the other”. He was very creative in that way.

Even after finding out about what was really happening in the body, Nathaniel only shared that information with the other and Alice, the two that he felt he could trust to not run their mouths to anyone who didn’t need to know. Neil was someone that Nathaniel couldn’t rely on in that sense- the boy always wanted to make friends. Maybe sheltering him like Nathaniel had wasn’t such a great idea, but Nathaniel didn’t care. He did what he did for his protection. 

When Neil had thrown a fit about staying in Millport, Arizona, Alice had to convince Nathaniel to let him. Nathaniel and the other had been present for Mary’s death, and it was difficult for him to get the pictures of burning flesh out of his head. He went dormant for months. It was nice, to settle into the black abyss for a while, ignoring everything that needed his control, knowing that the other and Alice would be able to watch over his brother for a while. 

Soon enough, though, he returned to talk to Neil, explain how his mother was no longer there, helping him with homework or making sure he got enough sleep or even had a place to sleep at night. The locker room had been Alice’s idea. It wasn’t bad, and so they mostly slept there.

He’d been back a few months when Wymack and Andrew and Kevin fucking Day had arrived in Millport to see them. 

Shouting at Neil to get out of there, the least he could do at the moment, he fought for control, needing to get Neil out of danger and away from anyone who could hurt them. He was the one who ran, though it wasn’t the best idea. 

Nathaniel gasped for breaths on the ground as Neil’s presence in the back of his head made itself known. Curses and venomous words tumbled out of Nathaniel’s mouth, something that Neil voiced his dislike for. Nathaniel didn’t care- he was scared for them and if he could fight his way out of this, he would. 

He couldn’t trust Andrew Minyard. Ergo, he would never let Neil be alone with him. It was personal.

Of course, Neil had been the one to beg Nathaniel to let them go to Palmetto. Alice and the other were on Neil’s side, and he had a soft spot for his younger brother, so to Palmetto they went. Nathaniel would protect Neil even there. 

Neil wanted to be friends with everyone there, even the “monsters”, so Nathaniel only really let him out around Matt or on the court, untrusting of Seth, the monsters, and Renee. Nathaniel really disliked Renee. Something about her reminded him of the other, and it wasn’t a good comparison. 

Nathaniel was co-fronting with Neil when they received the invitation to Columbia. Neil was confused, and so Nathaniel had to explain about the city and that he’d go instead of Neil. He was glad that he did.

He couldn’t trust Andrew with anything, much less after he drugged them. Nathaniel was nothing if resourceful, and let the other take over for the first time. The other must have had a sense of humor, because they paid the busboy to knock them out and then jumped away for Nathaniel to take the full force of the punch. 

Nathaniel was pissed when he woke up in the morning to feel arms around him, lashing out at Nicky and throwing up in the trash can. He was the one who dumped the water on the floor, ever his petty self, though the other was the one who devised the plan to escape through the window and gave him the interview questions for the truck drivers. 

Maybe that was the other’s way of apologizing to Nathaniel for the night before. Nathaniel doubted it.

Once he made it back to campus, he wasn’t surprised that Andrew was waiting for his return. He was surprised, though, that he seemed to notice the switch when Neil barged his way to the front and introduced himself to the blond. Nathaniel didn’t like Andrew’s attention on him, especially when he had to push Neil fully to the back, away from the conversation, just to tell Andrew the half-truths about their lives. 

He did feel more reassured when Andrew let Kevin practice with Neil, and slowly began to trust him after that. Their deal cemented Nathaniel’s trust in him- Andrew would never hurt Neil if he was protecting him. 

Of course, the other decided that they would make their presence known once Riko became a problem. All the snarky comments, the things that made even Nathaniel wince, it was all the other. 

It was the other that was in control when they went to the Hemmick’s for thanksgiving. Nathaniel was pushed to the back of the mind, only reappearing to find himself covering Andrew with a blanket, staring into a blankness that looked too much like his own when he looked into a mirror- if he ever did. 

Nathaniel was glad that Aaron had killed Drake- he would’ve done it himself if he had the chance. 

The next day, the other was in control once more, promising about protecting Aaron, Nicky, and Kevin. The other traded their name- Abram- in hushed tones to Andrew, betraying the body by letting the goalie feel the scars that lined their torso. Nathaniel was annoyed, but it worked, hadn’t it? 

Nathaniel wasn’t present when Neil told Andrew about the system, but he was there a day later to promise that he’d have the other alters to introduce themselves when they fronted, giving more detail to what Neil had told him. 

And of course, Nathaniel was the one who fell for Andrew, that day on the roof, not knowing what other choice he had. Andrew was stronger than anyone else he knew, there was no other option in the stupid game of life than to really give in to the attraction he felt. 

It was incredibly awkward for Nathaniel to get pushed into the headspace in the middle of a kiss, not knowing who had just switched with him, hoping that it wasn’t Alice or any of the smaller alters- they had more of them, now, with the safety of Andrew to allow for the brain or whatever it was to bring forth some of them. 

There came the time, however, that Neil approached Nathaniel, no longer wanting to just be the host. It was different, and had never happened before, but they decided to merge- they kept the name Neil, and their memories became one of the same. Neil was the host now, the one who explained what happened to Andrew, and how this would affect their relationship in the future. 

Andrew was understanding. That was one of the things that Neil loved about him.


End file.
